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Setting Boundaries and Toxic Positivity

Good for Mental Health

I am not an expert but have learned a few things in my life and these days
we need some definitions. I have done volunteer work and service to others.

Life is ABOUT Service, Good Deeds, Mitzvahs!

• “It is high time the ideal of success should be replaced with the ideal of service.”
  -Albert Einstein, German-born theoretical physicist
• “Service is the very purpose of life. It is the rent we pay for living on the planet.”
  -Marian Wright Edelman, activist for civil rights and children’s rights
• “…taking care of others, helping others, ultimately is the way to discover your own joy and to have a happy life.”
  -Dalai Lama

Setting Boundaries:
A form of self-care. It helps to create a clear guideline/rule/limits of how you would like to be treated. They let others know what is and what is not okay/acceptable. It honors our needs and wants so that we feel respected and safe.

“Creating an atmosphere of mutual respect and consideration for boundaries, can lead you to the path of personal happiness. – Nancy B.Urbach

Toxic Positivity:
is dysfunctional emotional management without the full acknowledgment of negative emotions, particularly anger and sadness. Socially, it is the act of dismissing another person's negative emotions by suggesting a positive emotion instead.

Examples of Toxic Positivity:
“Look on the bright side.” “Happiness is a choice.” “There's so much to be grateful for.” 
“It could be worse.”

Is toxic positivity gaslighting?
Toxic positivity can take the form of gaslighting, which happens when someone or something causes us to question our own reality. For instance, a person making you feel like you're overreacting or trying to convince you that something that hurt you badly is “no big deal” are both examples of gaslighting.

What is the root of Toxic Positivity

Healthy positivity differs from toxic positivity in the way that is acknowledges negative emotions of sadness, anger and jealousy. It pushes for growth and learning through setbacks and conflicts. On the other hand, toxic positivity arises from an unrealistic expectation of having perfectly happy lives all the time.

Here are some ways to prepare for a possible bad future:

• Practice positive self-talk: Instead of saying "There's no way I can get this done," say "I'll give it my all to make it happen". 
• Express gratitude: Make a list of things you appreciate in your life to help you focus on the present and ease anxiety. 
• Develop a growth mindset: Think of life as a journey, and each step as an opportunity to learn and grow. 
• Reflect on your goals: Set aside time to reflect on your goals, unload worries, and problem solve. 
• Change your attitude toward change: Be open to learning new things. 
• Create an emergency fund: Save 6–9 months of expenses in an emergency fund. 
• Plan for natural disasters: Consider how you can prepare for natural disasters. 
• Check your insurance: Make sure your insurance is up to date. 
• Negotiate with lenders: If you need to, consider negotiating with lenders.

DEFINITIONS:

• Irreconcilable differences: inability to agree on most things or on important things.
• Chasing Pain: You waited too long to take the pill and the dosage isn't working you need to take more. Doctor prescribes higher dosage because the body needs more.
• Breakthrough Pain: Patient with chronic pain has an injury that requires a high dosage.

What is the difference between complaining and talking?

It often involves criticizing, blaming, and making demands. Complainers usually seek empathy and reassurance but may also try to avoid responsibility for their problems. Speaking up, on the other hand, is focused on solving problems and improving situations.

Here are some ways to deal with unintelligent opinions:

• Be empathetic: Try to see the situation from the other person's perspective. 
• Be respectful: Be respectful for no good reason. 
• Acknowledge strengths: Look for the good in everyone. 
• Consider different perspectives: Realize that different viewpoints can coexist. 
• Remove yourself: If the situation is irritating, you can respectfully remove yourself. 
• Don't engage: You can choose not to engage with people you don't like. 
• Nod and smile: If you don't think arguing will be productive, you can nod and smile. 

How to not let idiots bother you?

Things You Should Know

1. Try to understand that some people won't meet your standards, as much as you wish that they would. Focus on their strengths, not their weaknesses.
2. If someone is difficult or rude, try not to feed fodder to the flame. ...
3. Keep in mind that everyone has different strengths and backgrounds.

GOOD links: 

• How to Deal with Foolish People
• https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-deal-with-gaslighting
• HOW HITLER TOOK POWER
• DRUG ADDICTION IS NOT DEPENDANCE They will stop giving a person drugs they depend on and force them to find help or go thru withdrawals.

How do I stop letting little things bother me?

Exercise, journaling, and talking to a trusted friend or therapist are great ways to release pent-up emotions and gain clarity. For example, after a tough day, take a brisk walk in nature to clear your mind, or write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal to process your emotions.

Here are some tips for recovering from gaslighting:

• Validate your experience: Acknowledge what you've been through and that it's valid. 
• Seek support: Talk to people you trust, like friends or family, or consider seeing a therapist. 
• Practice self-care: Create a healthy routine that includes exercise, healthy eating, and enough sleep. 
• Set boundaries: Establish limits to protect your emotional and physical well-being. 
• Educate yourself: Learn about gaslighting and manipulation techniques so you can spot the signs. 
• Practice self-compassion: Learn to love yourself and be kind to yourself. 
• Consider professional help: A mental health professional can help you and the other person in the relationship. 
  

You can also try these tips for responding to gaslighting:

• Follow up on a gaslighting comment: If someone makes a backhanded compliment or disguises an insult as a joke, ask them to explain it. 
  
• Avoid confronting the gaslighter: Confronting them can lead to more lies and confusion. Acceptance is the ability to see that others have a right to be their own unique persons. That means having a right to their own feelings, thoughts and opinions. When you accept people for who they are, you let go of your desire to change them.

ACCEPTANCE: What does it mean when someone has acceptance?

Living with a bleeding disorder gets you to learn things others haven't. Accepting limitations and enjoying the moments you do have are always good.

Acceptance is the ability to see that others have a right to be their own unique persons. That means having a right to their own feelings, thoughts and opinions. When you accept people for who they are, you let go of your desire to change them.

NO EXPECTATIONS: 

Having no expectations can be beneficial because it can help you:

• Experience things objectively: You can focus on how you feel about something instead of how you thought you would feel. 
• Avoid disappointment: You can be satisfied with the outcome instead of feeling let down. 
• Take responsibility for your decisions: You can avoid the thought that someone else is making you do something. 
• Separate wants from should: You can avoid feeling guilty for not meeting expectations imposed by others. 
• Live in the present: You can focus on the decisions you make in the moment instead of being mentally trapped in the future. 
  

However, some say that avoiding disappointment by having no expectations is a misguided strategy. Disappointment can be a valuable part of the human experience that provides insights into ourselves. (Expecting to Win, and being Disappointed isn't the issue, how you behave when disappointed is! -Michael)

What does G-d say about abortion?

Based on the Bible's prohibitions against killing, its teaching about the sanctity of human life, and its penalties for negligence that lead to miscarriages, it is clear that the Bible by no means condones abortion—and indeed even condemns it.

Somehow people think it's ok to shoot them, or to go to a country and steal and kill in the name of g-d is OK? Filling buildings with drug or alcoholic baby's is part of g-ds plan?

What is the experimental method of medicine?

Experimental or interventional studies compare the effect of treatments or interventions with control in humans. Placebo or different treatment(s) or intervention(s) may be used as control. Experimental studies have to be transparent and evidence-based.

OPIATS: Are a crime and a medical experiment. They found out the long term effects on the subjects yet the had the subjects find ways to get off of the medication, or prescribed 2-4 more drugs that are possibly addictive, and add more side effect problems. Changes the price on monthly prescriptions, adds more constipation. Why do they want to stack drugs on top of each other? why isn't it their job to undo their problem? -Michael

Not sure who will find this but I keep getting comments about not having positive thinking. 

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